Sorry for the delay for all four of you. I already had this entry written last week and was just slow on posting it. I will just paste the original here and then add today’s occurrence at the bottom to hammer home the point with startling clarity.
Most of you know I teach 5th grade. At one point in my life I considered myself an above-average athlete. Played three sports in high school, soccer in college, pickup games year round, etc. Gravity, age and general laziness have taken their toll. If I was getting recruited right now my scouting report might read:
Too many pounds, not enough muscle, slow and can’t jump but at least his reflexes aren’t what they used to be.
All of that is okay though because I have found a new outlet to display my athletic prowess. I do this in the form of challenging my students to various athletic endeavors. It’s a good way to stay fresh. Every year a student or two claim they can beat me in various challenges like a race, long distance kicking, kickball, etc. This has never happened. Honestly no one has come close. The last time I raced a student I ran backward for the last quarter of it like Maniac Magee (a fifth grade reading reference). I only write this because for those unathletic souls out there who feel the need for s confidence boost or some self esteem, look no further than you local elementary school. As long as you don’t look too creepy and your intentions are sound, there is a whole world of kids up to the challenge.
Fast forward:
Today I took part in a game of knockout. If you don’t know what it is look here . Anyway, today was against a mixed group of fifth and fourth graders. After I systematically, and with sniper-like efficiency, eliminated a large number of students I was left with only one player left. He was a FOURTH GRADER. I guess I am just not a closer. I am no Mariano Rivera or Kobe Bryant. Not clutch. After I talked a bit of trash to this student, who barely comes up to my waste, I preceded to get knocked out in the first three shots. It was a bitter reminder that my athletic skills are deteriorating at an alarming pace. There is a group of third graders who I am sure are chomping at the bit.
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Nothing stings more than being defeated by anyone 10-15 years younger than you. Doug, I too, have lost the race to a younger, more conditioned sixth grader. Though I was not able to run backword, I did fall on the pavement and slide for an ungodly length of time on my right arm. The scar on my arm that broke my fall is a constant reminder that I was beaten by the young.
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