Its a delicate balance

I think you know the guy. While watching the game he cheers just a bit too loudly. He gets just a little too into the TV show and talks about it just a bit too much. (Coincidentally I am like this with The Office) He lets you know just a fraction more about his popularity with the female population than you care to imagine. He is just “that guy.” No one wants to be him and those who are like him are just too clueless to know it.

I have met many versions of him in my life. In elementary school it was Freddy Guzzy who was just a little too into He-Man action figures. In high school it was Alex A. ( I don’t want to type his whole name in case he Google’s it, and we work out at the same gym) who was a little over-the-top about professional wrestling. (In my second parenthetical section of this paragraph I can say that Alex’s obsession paid off as he is actually, technically a professional wrestler). In college it was Eric N. who just was a little too annoying about everything be it food, sports, cars, video games. Lucky for me I lived with him for a year. It was study in excess to say the least.

Well after knowing these folks my whole life I know when to spot them, and I met a doozy on Saturday. His name was Ozzy and his vice was soccer. Now soccer is a classic “that guy” sport. Part of it stems from soccer’s lack of American mainstream popularity. In addition, soccer lends itself to a certain clothing style that just screams, “look at me, I chose the wrong sport!” Ozzy had that look down to a tee with the Adidas Copa Mundials and, the always in style, Umbros. (Which I thought had been discontinued but was proven wrong). I met him at a soccer licensing course I was forced take so I can coach the WO U-9 Fighting Wildcats to the ‘ship this year. Understand that to obtain the old “F License” you need do little more than show up to the gym with a heartbeat and a $30 check. Throughout the day we were required to take part in “non-competetive” drills to demonstrate proper skill.

Ozzy did not realize this. From what I can gather, Ozzy assumed one needed to show overall soccer dominance. His victims were of little consequence as well. It didn’t matter if he was beating me or Helen; the 5’2 195lb mother of four who was getting the license to help out her daughter’s team. Ozzy went, as the French say, “balls to the wall.” He was flying all over the court, flicking backheels, going in hard for tackles and in the downtime showing off his world class juggling skills. At one point the instructor even tried to call him out on this by challenging him to juggle the ball for as long as he could while the class watched. His response, which actually kind of impressed me, was, “we better not because I can juggle for a really long time.” It honestly was a sight to behold.

Now I don’t have a deeper lesson or worldly comparison to this behavior. Some people are just idiots with little self awareness. That’s the way the world is I guess. These people need to make up for those that care too little. It forms a natural balance I suppose. So I want to thank you Ozzy. You even out the world for my friend Dave who thinks soccer sucks. It’s a delicate balance. We need “these guys.”