While I was in the bathroom the fire alarm went off. The effect was life-changing. I got up but could not get out of the bathroom. The door was jammed, the fire alarm kept blaring and I just pictured myself burning to a crisp in a kindergarten bathroom of all places. From that day forward I refused to go to the bathroom in school and still hate fire alarms. In that same kindergarten class they also forced us to try tofu for the first time. Why? I don't know, but the effect was equally traumatizing to the point where today Sabrina still needs to "sneak" tofu into meals just to get me to try it.
A quarter a century later here I am still hating fire drills and tofu. Well really I just hate the idea of them more than I actually hate the reality of them.
That brings me to the point of this newsletter: Halloween. I hate, hate, hate dressing up for Halloween. Or at least I hate the idea of wearing a costume. I have felt this way for awhile. The last time I enthusiastically dressed up for the holiday was in 6th grade when I went to school dressed as a cemetery. My dad took an old cardboard box and cut the sides in a way that made each face look like a different gravestone. I won an award for creativity. Since that day I have dressed up exactly 3 times for Halloween. Two you can read about HERE and the third was last year when a friend and I went to a party dressed as the guys from the "Dick in a Box" Video.
See, for tofu and fire alarms I can trace my aversion back to a single moment. For Halloween the reason is less clear. There must be a reason I hate the dressing up but I don't know it. But that is just it. Maybe like tofu and alarms I hate the idea more than I hate the actual thing. That is why this year I am willingly and excitedly donning a costume for a Halloween party! I am going as a railway worker! (I am trying to convince Sabrina to go as the actually train tracks. There are so many jokes for this scenario that I might explode). Does this mean I am growing as a person? I’ll still consciously pass on the tofu but slowly and surely the big guy is finally growing up. Happy Halloween!
3 comments:
im proud of you for dressing up for our party as far as the growing up thing i dont know . were the words 'fuck it ' used in your decicion to don a costume if so i think you are just being assimilated into the collective sorry
There is a certain level of maturity to the idea of "f-it." It is the maturity in realizing you have given up the fight.
So your telling me that you are growing as a person simply based on the fact that you are willing to play dress up, C'Mon bro?
I am a firm advocate of the "I'm Dignity(Integrity etc..)!" theory for costume parties and in fact put preach to practice as recently as last week. Now, my theory on the roots of my own costume trauma existence are not as existential as yours; however, they seem to relate to most people associating me with the costume you & James sported, with the major exception being that you would need to subtract the "In a Box" and add a few exclamation points. And the great thing is I have come to perfect & accept the roots of this belief, putting it to practice every day.
PS: Due to the fact that my theory above holds true, I do not have friends, loved ones, etc...to provide you for your precious blog. I will additionally hesitate post hastily to pass this along.
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